We lost our four businesses, the home we built, and most of our worldly possessions. We found out who the mystery man was and sent him a nice thank you card. But then something strange happened…. For the next 6 months I completely avoided him.
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Then, one day I encountered him in a restroom, and I ran out of the building like a man on fire. As I ran out of the building I suddenly realized that there was something seriously wrong with me.
This was ridiculous! What I mean is this experience was revealing something about me that was deeper than what I had bargained for, and I knew I needed to work it out. That night, I lay in bed awake until the wee hours of the morning.
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Finally, in desperation I cried out to God. Do you know what it is? I realized that night that my love had a lid. But this experience showed me that I had literally put a value on my life. I began to see that every time someone loved me beyond my own ability to love myself, I destroyed my relationship with them.
5 Self-Sabotaging Behaviours That Destroy Your Relationships
We imagine waking up next to the perfectly styled woman that we see at the party, while we remember the last time we woke up next to our girlfriend who obviously went to bed without makeup. We love to compare the Instagram pictures of the girls other guys are dating with our girlfriend when she is sick and walks around in sweatpants.
We men have a lot of unique strengths. Unfortunately, listening is not one of them. Eventually, this ignorance leads to unnecessary arguments, misunderstandings and verbal fights that can end in a nasty breakup. By saying that you should listen to your girlfriend, I not only talk about listening to her words. Listening to her emotions is way more important. When I was together with my ex-girlfriend I had a lot of nightmares. I had them every week and the quintessence was always the same. I was afraid to commit , because I was scared to lose my freedom. The desire to be free is in our genetics and thanks to years of social conditioning we actually believe that ending up in a relationship is the fastest way to lose that freedom.
You might be afraid that your girlfriend will get angry when you come home drunk in the middle of the night. Is getting drunk, coming home late and stinking like an opossum really the definition of freedom?
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The funny thing is that most men would never do the things that they are apparently so scared of not being able to do in a relationship when they are single. Honesty, if you want to get drunk every night and walk around in stinky clothes, you have other problems than losing your freedom.
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When you are together with the right woman, she wants you to be free, even though she might also want you to change your underwear from time to time. It is even sadder to think about the fact that I have been one of those guys. Eventually, this behavior caused a lot of sleepless nights and arguments that were totally unnecessary.
I know that you want a girlfriend or a wife who supports you, who takes care of you and who lifts you up when you are down. I know that you want that, but are you also willing to be her supportive boyfriend who takes care of her when she needs you the most? One mistake that I made over and over again was to expect support without ever giving something back.
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It is great that you have a vision, it is honorable that you want to achieve certain goals and that you want a girlfriend who supports you on your journey. We all want that. Your email address will not be published.
The question is: Is getting drunk, coming home late and stinking like an opossum really the definition of freedom?