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About Ingredients. Doing Our Part Member Showcase. Ingredient Safety Initiative. Home Cleaning T Clothes Laundry Ba While no one is completely sure exactly when or why this fashion rule came into effect, our best guess is that it had to do with snobbery in the late s and early s. The wives of the super-rich ruled high society with an iron fist after the Civil War.
As more and more people became millionaires, though, it was difficult to tell the difference between respectable old money families and those who only had vulgar new money. That way, if a woman showed up at the opera in a dress that cost more than most Americans made in a year, but it had the wrong sleeve length, other women would know not to give her the time of day. Not wearing white outside the summer months was another one of these silly rules.
White was for weddings and resort wear, not dinner parties in the fall. Of course it could get extremely hot in September, and wearing white might make the most sense, but if you wanted to be appropriately attired you just did not do it. Labor Day became a federal holiday in , and society eventually adopted it as the natural endpoint for summer fashion. Not everyone followed this rule.
Even some socialites continued to buck the trend, most famously Coco Chanel, who wore white year-round. But even though the rule was originally enforced by only a few hundred women, over the decades it trickled down to everyone else. These days the fashion world is much more relaxed about what colors to wear and when, but every year you will still hear people say that white after Labor Day is unacceptable, all thanks to some snobby millionaires who decided that was a fashion no-no more than years ago.
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While both embraced modernist elements, they're easy to distinguish if you know what to look for. Art Nouveau it means "new art," but you probably figured that out reigned from roughly until just before World War I. Art Nouveau embraced Europe's new industrial aesthetic rather than challenging it. It features naturalistic but stylized forms , often combined with more geometric shapes, particularly arcs, parabolas, and semicircles think of the paintings of Gustav Klimt , or the arches of the Eiffel Tower.
The movement brought in natural forms that had often been overlooked, like insects, weeds, and even mythical faeries, as evidenced by Lalique jewelry or Tiffany lamps. The black and gold robe Kate Winslet doffs in the erotic portrait session scene in Titanic is quintessentially Art Nouveau. Art Deco, on the other hand, emerged after World War I. In fact, the deprivations of the Great War years gave way to a whole new opulence and extravagance that defined the Jazz Age and the Art Deco aesthetic. The style was prevalent from the s until roughly the start of World War II and is characterized by streamlined and geometric shapes.
It also utilized modern materials like chrome, stainless steel, and inlaid wood. I spent every day with him in NICU. All of your 10 things are completely true but I would have to add 1 more. You will pee your pants at least once if you had a vaginal delivery. The first night after birth I got up to pump because my little guy was unable to eat for the first 36 hours of life and I wanted to make sure my supply came in. As soon as I finally was able to sit up I started peeing. This happened. Few more times in the hospital. It only got worse because then I had to deal with not knowing I had to pee or being able to hold and control it while I was not I the comfort of my own home, but in the hospital where the nearest bathroom was what felt like a 5 minute walk because I was no longer a patient with a room near by.
I would stand up to change my little ones diaper and would immediately start peeing a little. One day my husband came with me but had left to do a few things. Once again I stood up and started peeing a bit I called my husband saying he needs to come back because I needed to change my clothes. I hurried to the ext door and with each step on my way there I peed a bit more but just kept going.
Once I made it outside I could see him waiting for me. As I continued to walk to the car I let the flood gates open. And oh the tears just poured out. I finally made it to the grass and just sat down crying and peeing in front of the hospital. He came over to means assured me no one knew but clearly there was a trail left behind. It was terrible! To add to the sex appeal, buy lots of disposable maternity pants.
I read something online that suggested it and I asked for it in the hospital. Thanks for reminding me of all the beautiful things to come! I had my son,via C-section, 18 months ago and am expecting in March. I kid you not, I think they should keep us in the hospital for 2 weeks after having a baby. Between the bleeding, exhaustion, falling out hair, breaking nails, fear of losing your mind, fear of using the restroom etc.. I tried to brew formula in a coffee pot and put coffee beans in the washer.
Your brain will be mush. Anyone who has a husband who does not help out should be reminded of this every time he is "in the mood for sex. It was the best break I could have had! Granted, we knew that he was going to likely be in the NICU, so we were prepared.
I also had a C-section, elective, but who knew that they give you Pitocen during a C-section, and really do a horrible job of keeping you pain free or even controlling your pain. I wanted to scream for a week straight! I did not even breastfeed. I could not because of medication that I take for lupus. That was a blessing in disguise.
Plus,I have a great husband who helped with everything! I must be stupid, because this time, I am expecting to have a vaginal birth and am one hour away from the hospital, plan on breastfeeding, and plan on bringing the baby home vs. As horrible as most sarcastic mothers sound, most likely do not get how difficult it is to bring home a baby and how much time a baby consumes and how truly exhausting it is.
Single moms are heroes and should be worshipped for all they do alone especially if they are working! I cannot imagine. If you breastfeed, please plan on pumping so that you can take shifts with your spouse. It will save your sanity. If you cannot sleep and are constantly in a fog of exhaustion-nothing, not even your new baby will be enjoyable. You can and will have plenty of time to demonstrate your superpowers at a later time. Our 18 month old goes down for three hours every afternoon. He gets up very early anyway. He is not required to sleep for the full three hours yet often does.
It is our households "quiet time" and the best thing we ever did for us all. He has some toys and cloth books in his crib and actually enjoys his own time. As soon as possible for our new baby, feeding wise, he will be joining his brother and going onto this schedule, as well. It gives me time to rest, eat, shower, be with my husband, make phone calls, or do anything for myself. It is not selfish, as many of you Moms may think or those of you who have not yet had your baby. If you do not take care of your own needs, you will do a poor job of caring for the needs of your children.
If you do manage to, you certainly will be a miserable Mom and your kids and family will feel that. Good luck! Stumbled upon this on Pintrest. Sounds like pretty much the worst life experience ever. Remember people used to die from childbirth…No wonder. Imagine going through all this without stool softeners, medicine and pads. Those women probably wanted to die. I love kids, but I am wayyy to wimpy for this. This article is great and the comments are even better!!!
I had a water birth with my 2 kids 18 months apart at home with a midwife. Still painful, but would recommend it to anyone. An hour with my first son, and 2 hours with the second. My midwife was really patient and let it come on its own. She finally put me on the toilet so gravity could help. It eventually came out. Midwife said it was HUGE and doubled over, which is probably why it hurt so much. Finally after several months, I had to get some sort of acid put on it.
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Healed up quick after that. I also had major breastfeeding issues both times and ended up pumping exclusively for a year with my 2nd child. That breastpump saved me. Thank you to the lactation consultant that recommended it!!! You forgot the fun of peeing in your pants when you cough, sneeze, laugh, etc. And that last a long time! That really creepy. I was wondering if these are the situation each mother during their pregnancy has to go through or is the case with some of the mothers. Yep, those first few poops feel like oversized pinecones trying to pry their way out of your red, inflamed orifice.
Then again it felt like my baby was coming out of my "pooper" as I so lovingly called it in the delivery room. I hate how everyone wants to compare us regular women to super stars and models. My moms friend always said there is no such thing as ugly women, only poor women. Our lack of personal trainers and makeup artists make us human, I will not feel bad if I look like a bald garden slug. Baby due in 5 weeks! Went trough all of it plus BAD thrush in my breasts which caused me to formula-feed. Ugh this article and all the comments are making me want to have babies less and less.
Thank you for being honest, I had my first baby 5mo ago, I had a terrible 9 months, morning sickness, afternoon and night sickness, siatic pain in my left but cheek, back pain and the last 3days before I had her sleepless nights! And yes I wanted to strangle him every time I saw him laying there so peaceful as he slept through the night while I was up in pain trying to breast feed our baby at 12am, 2am, 4am, 6am!
Oh the joys of child birth! And great job! After 10 for me, my husband asked if I was ok, and through tears of pain I told him that I needed an epidural for that! Great blog! So TRUE! I wish I had read this before my first was born. Luckily babies kill your memory, so you can have more. I always try to warn my first time mommy friends that at some point in the first 2 weeks after baby you will want to punch your husband in the face. This article should be handed to new mothers along with their discharge paperwork from the hospital. This is fantastic and so painfully true.
Oh dear God, Dear God! I had a friend who actually weighed more when she wad discharged from the hospital than she did before giving birth. I really liked this, and thought that it described postpartum pretty accurately, but I would have appreciated it if it could have been more family friendly and not so much swearing. I know that a lot of people call me old-fashioned, but those are my values and I stick to them. Other than that, it was VERY funny. This terrifies me. Why must this happen?! This article is brilliant!
I wish I had read it before giving birth. Why does no one talk about the afterbirth? I have so far experienced most of these plus the lovely hemorrhoids and awful nightsweats. Crazy what we women have to go through and only other moms can understand. Somehow makes it all worthwhile….. Thank you for helping me officially confirm my decision to never have a little monster. I got told about all of that but half of it isnt true for all. Like 3, I had my son naturally without having a tummy tuck and looked normal straight away. Also I only had a couple strech marks that werent too bad and faded fast.
I felt like a failure and that my children as it happened with each of them were going to be stunted both physically and mentally. For those of you who have this issue not to worry as both my kids have been healthy, at the top of their class and growing well a little too well only last week it was "what do you mean your shoes are too tight? Thank you so much for sharing the joy — now that is what a true girlfriend does!
Thanks for posting this. I would also like to add…you might be incontinent. I had hard vaginal delivery and pushed for over 3 hours. I guess during that time my poor little bladder suffered some trauma, and for about a week I was unable to really control when I peed. You can imagine how that was when people would come to visit! I would have to jump up in the middle of sentence and run to the bathroom. Glad you added in about the pooping at the end!!
I was going to say, there is no way she can leave out the awful pooping ordeal that we all go through!! Oh man, so funny! I was not expecting my milk to flow the colour of Tropicana Orange juice. I wept with shock. Also pouring a jug of lukewarm water on yourself when you pee is less painful for injured lady bits. I am in love with you, author, and wish I could be your best friend. I also wish I had read this before I had my first baby. I must have got a "gold ticket" lol easy labours and delivery and walked out weighing less then before i became pregnant.
The after-birth crotch truly is a nightmare. The concoction they gave me in the hospital consisted of stretchy mesh underwear, a giant bag of ice, a thunderpad the thickness of a strip steak and spread with some sort of healing goo, and all topped off with a numbing antiseptic spray to my nether-regions. It was easily the most heavenly yet terrifying thing my girly parts have experienced after childbirth itself and I lovingly dubbed it the Diaper Cocktail. I quoted part of this on my blog a long, long time ago: "You made a person. Oh my god, thank you! Now I just have to keep combing though the site to see what else went rogue.
However I am a little nervous now. We had guests over looking at the baby. I was sitting with flip flops on and I thought somehow the dog had came by and peed on my feet, because all of a sudden they were soaked. I also recommend what my mother called "Prune Fizzies" which were nothing more than prune juice and vernors ginger ale. Even when she gave them to me as a kid, I was slick as a whistle in no time! This is stupid. Compared to being able to bring a child into the world, the points in this post are simply not a big deal, and some of them are just downright shallow.
Not to mention everything mentioned here is completely temporary. And perchance if you are curious and alert, you may see a mirrored image of your said uterus outside your body reflected on the overhead surgical light fixture as I did. Additionally you may have the added pleasure of having your spouse or significant other videotape behind the curtain if the surgeon is amenable to that and have your celebrated uterus captured on video for posterity.
Thank you for saying it like it is. This post made me laugh out loud. I would like to add one if you please. About 6 days after I had my first dear son, I had an heart attack in the bathroom because after wiping I noticed my stitches were coming out… I thought my vajaja was coming apart. Yes, these are great. We just posted one for dads.
So much truth here! Some advice about the pooing problem: Keep your poo soft by eating plenty of fiber. Bran flakes were my best friend when I had my second child and helped make it so much easier than the horror I experienced after my first. Too stinking funny!!!! I enjoyed each of my my babies not twins so much more knowing that my husband and I could take turns getting up and feeding.
I cried with laughter at 7 and had to read it to my husband. Hahaha This is hilarious!!! I dont know whether to laugh or cry! Tears are rolling down my face!! AFTER they both have their babies! My youngest is 18 now, but I will never forget after I had my first child, walking around the house in a daze, crying, with the giant diaper on myself oh I made the mistake of looking down there!
Oh a side note: I pretended to be really concerned about my healing episiotomy which stretched almost to that poop hole, and I made my now ex husband look to see if it was infected when he asked for the millionth time when we could have sex again! I thought he was going to vomit! OK back to what I originally wanted to comment, I remember crying hysterically, walking around the house in my robe, with the giant diaper on, and a wet tea bag on each cracked nipple, wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into!!!
The nurse at the other end of the phone it was a number to call when you had breastfeeding questions told me that there was something in tea that helped cracked nipples, and not to worry, your nipples will harden up after a while! Thanks for making me laugh, and my three children are the best thing I ever did!!! Oh you forgot to mention the hormone that somehow makes you forget all the bad stuff about giving birth, when you even consider doing it again!
Every woman would only have one child! That image was seared into my brain for months!!! Just let em heal. Also, get the Percocet filled. My baby was breech from day 1 and never turned down. I knew he was going to be a c-section pretty early on. I had two tiny fibroids and apparently the hormones from pregnancy make them grow.
They grew to be the size of baseballs so I was essentially carrying twins. I gained a near 70 pounds — most of which was fluid. From that day till delivery I felt like I was able to literally crap my pants. I just opted to suffer with it. That was ONE of several things I had to deal with. OMG I just died laughing!!! IDK who you are but you now have a new fan!! Thank God for Pintrest or I might not have found you!! Just read this on a FB site. Is this you? Nobody ever told me about the ring of fire!! It burns!!! I cried the whole car ride home because it hurt so bad to sit.
Most embarrassing thing; nurse had to help me wipe my own butt, lol. Oh my God, thank you! When I updated the site those points seemed to evaporate. Too funny, and unfortunately, too true. I actually nearly fainted the night after I gave birth. They took the baby to give him antibiotics in the nursery and I tried to shower.
I bled so much it took a team of nurses to get me back into bed and I fell asleep as soon as I got there. I just happened across your blog and I think it is the most funny and true thing I have read.
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I especially enjoyed the part about hating your husband; because, for the life of me, I cannot fathom how in the hell he can sleep with a screaming baby in the room. Also, thunderpads. I cried, i laughed so hard. Sooo tru! I got most of these. The poop is by far the worst. Jabba the hut!! I laughed so hard I cried!!! Four child…. My friends get mad when I talk like this, I can't believe I'm not the author of this.
All of this is soooo true. And, to add to that shit, I also got e. I'm talking a waterfall of blood from my stomach. There was nothing magical about my birthing experience. My kiddo was worth it, but I think I'm done. Wow, I am really appreciative for the information you provided here. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and he is baby ready…. My youngest is 28, and I do believe I experienced all of the above, but not all in one pregnancy. Didn't know there was a name for the 6 week period after!!
You also didn't mention hemorrhoids. When I gave birth to my 3rd baby, I didn't ask if it was a boy or a girl. The first words out of my mouth were "How are my hemorrhoids?!? My best friend told me she ripped the toilet paper holder off the wall when she had the dreaded "first BM".
My favourite part was first bowel movement. I had been on serious pain medication so it took days and when it happened, my husband swears I pushed out a piece of firewood!!!!!! I should have named it in hindsite! My milk was late with baby number two and I went from a B cup to D over night and was terrified. They were so hard and huge that the baby couldn't get them to work!!! I had to pump and pump! It's been 44 years since I had my last of 3 babes, and I concur with all comments and shares! It's amazing how vivid the memory is after so many years.
Thanks to all of you for the best laugh of the day! I thought I had a baby sitting on it for days afterwards—or that I had poop sitting on my pelvic floor that I didn't know about. I laughed until I cried! Even though it has been almost 12 years since my last child's birth, I could relate to so many of these. Don't forget the also, dreaded Pregnancy rash, which I had with my first son. I was ready to go to the bank and withdraw whatever amount of money necessary to get my doctor to deliver him early so I could get relief for the itchy rash.
And the breast feeding….. I didn't breast feed, but I used enough cabbage leaves in my bra to have a pot of cabbage soup. Thank you for posting this! No one told me about the placenta delivery!!!! My doc was sewing me up and all of a sudden, I thought I was having an unexpected twin. Then they started pushing on my stomach. I was scared to death!!!
Thanks for the great post. I was laughing my butt off. Love the comment from the dad! I would also add terrible gas. I will never forget how horrifically horrible my first pee post baby was.
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I screamed louder than during my delivery and literally fell off the toilet. Remember the warm water in your squirt bottle people!! Be ready and armed before you start peeing!!! Best advice I can give anyone. Oh and that delusion you get immediate post delivery that you feel absolutely perfectly fine to shower by yourself…. Oh the days. I had 4 now all grown up , but this was a good and funny read, and brought back some fond? I recently had cause to shake my head at my younger sister; her 5 month old sleeps through the night, but wakes around 5am.
Did I think she should try to get him to go down later, so he would wake up at a more reasonable hour, like 6. All I could think to respond was to NEVER mention this to another new mum, because if someone had said that to me back then I would have bludgeoned her to death immediately. I adore you…with every fiber in my being. You rock…and I must be in your inner circle! Every bestie of mine is getting this blog address for their birthday…and Christmas…and arbor day.
Cheers fellow mama…cheers! So funny! I have a 9 week old at home so this is all fresh in my head. One other thing…your pelvic bone can rotate throwing everything out of alignment. For me I can't lay flat on my back on a hard surface or sit comfortably on my hardwood floors. Some people can't even walk comfortably.
This means weeks or months of physical therapy. Makes it even harder to get rid of the baby weight. Good thing you get a beautiful baby out of all this. You totally nailed it. Yup, giving birth is a miracle but it ain't 'Hollywood Glam'. It's been almost 9 years since I had my last baby and you brought it all back — the good and not so glam.
A wonderfully funny post. You forgot to mention the uterine "massage" given by the nurses! Massage my ass!! Never sounded more like a sailor then when they were kneading my swollen belly like day old yeast!! Oh my god! It's like they take every frustration they've ever had and beat the shit out of your belly to let it out! I dunno why I clicked on this Pintrest link—but I've never had kids and don't plan to. I def have an incentive to stay on my birth control now and always use a condom!
Thanks for the warning! What about hemorrhoids? It's not major, but it's annoying, and I'm told I can have surgery. After I'm done having kids. Praise the lord for this miracle of child bearing. What about incontinence? I peed myself for about 2 week afterwards. Usually if I sneezed or laughed a little would come out. However, once or twice I had a full blown pee pants situation while walking.
Also, no one seems to mention the 'uterine massage' right after birth. That was horrible! The fisting of the stomach was a shock to me. It was like something out of a horror movie. Complete with running okay, semi fast walking and screaming.
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This could have been written about me, all of it. It's so hilarious too! Haha, I mean the way you wrote it, not actually going through it. I will have to agree with 9 out of the 10… For me anyway the bleeding after my c-section was done by the day we left the hospital, which was the fourth day out.
I think it depends on who your doctor is and how your body reacts to giving birth. I have two children. I was laughing so hard reading this that I had to get a box of tissues to wipe the tears from my face. Every statement true. True true true! I thought my crotch was a hot mess and thought, surely this has never happened to anyone else's crotch because no one told me what to expect!! It's been 2. I think my baby will be an only child. HA HA!!! I love it. Take heart, your body will return to normal, mostly…..
I am still fighting some extra weight. I have 2 boys and between the two of them all of these came true for me. After a vag delivery I was so swollen down there that the period was painfully. I actually had bold clots that felt like I was giving birth again, I thought I was tearing out stitches. I felt pain and didn't know it was a blood clot till after I pushed, yes I had to push, it out and the pain was suddenly gone.
I had two babies premature and both spent days in NICU. I want to tell anyone who is feeling guilty because breastfeeding is not going well—do not feel guilty. I could not even hold my first born for 4 days because he was hooked up to so many tubes. I did my very best with breastfeeding and pumping but didn't make it past 2 months. You are not a bad mother, and your child is not suffering because you gave up on breastfeeding. Both of my sons are healthy, have not suffered ear infections or very many colds and they both were only breast fed for about 2 months.
One of my nurses told me that if you were only able to breastfeed for two weeks, your baby has benefitted as much as they would if you had breastfed for one year, because the baby got all that wonderful colostrum. That nurse was a godsend to me amongst all the lactation consultants constantly in my face about breastfeeding my premature infants. Trust your instincts as a mother and don't EVER let someone make you feel guilty.
I love My mom arrived 3 days after my son was born, and I hadn't pooped yet and the first thing I did when I saw her was burst into tears and say, "I think I might have to poop today! Also, the bleeding.
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I only bled for 2 weeks after, but that was about 12 days longer than I thought I would. I actually called my doc after a week and she was like, "Uh…and? I also want to warn women that in the hours after delivering, get up and go pee as often as you can. Or else you will pee yourself. I managed that one twice. Poor nurses.